Never good enough!!!!

Posted: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 by Stained in

Life sucks right now....Big time!!!

As I walked through a large empty lot full of sand shrouded in darkness I look up to the sky hoping to wish on a shooting star for everything to end as unfortunately I can't end it myself. After being disappointed with the lack of stars in general I bring my attention back to earth and I see a man sleeping on a sheet with what seemed like a bunch of clothes wrapped together to make a pillow. I continued to walk while feeling a little better about my own condition. As I looked back I realised I could hardly see him. I looked around and saw no one else seem to notice him lying there. He had conveniently place himself in such a way that you couldn't see him unless you knew he was for now he will sleep there unnoticed...and for now I live on....

These two songs are stuck in my head....

Linkin Park - Given Up

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

As usual a picture to complete the post...Shooting Date/Time : 10/6/2008 6:30:37 PM
Tv(Shutter Speed) : 1/50
Av(Aperture Value) : 6.3
Metering Mode : Center-Weighted Average Metering
ISO Speed : 100
Focal Length : 134.0 mm

I might not be updating this site as often cause I need to get a job. Need to move on and stop dreaming about becoming a photographer cause that does not seem to be working out and a man sitting at home unemployed is a burden on old parents who have lost hope already. The best part is whatever I shall do, it will never be good enough......................


  1. No Stained. You got it all wrong. If jobs fell from the sky, recruitment agencies would be at a loss. So the thing about not being good enough and being miserable, forget it. Fact is everybody feels like that at one point or the other. Success and failure come and go, you set your sights on something new and better- you struggle to reach the apex because you know what lies ahead and you KNOW you can achieve it; it's you who decides whether its good enough- not other people. You probably have this pre-conceived notion: "If it's the best, people will celebrate. If it's good, people will acknowledge. If it's ok, people don't care". But we all start at "ok". Nobody started at "the best". Society has norms that 80% don't follow. Why? Because they are headstrong and don't let other people's comments and perspectives affect them. Once you look ahead and only see yourself and your objectives, that's when it will be 'good enough' for you.
    Your worth is not defined by people.
    I hope all that makes sense.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I dont want to give advice ,or preach 2 u...all of wat neel said makes a lot of sense!....i get wat u're goin rips u apart ..been there ,done that..wat i've learnt? tomorrow will b a better day..
    n i try 2 reach out as much as i can 2 oders so tht their happiness becums mine.....
    ***i shed a silent tear for tht sleeping man***

  1. Stained says:

    @neel....The other people are the people who I care about. I just wish they'd understand that I am making every possible effort to succeed in the goals I've set for myself. But unfortunately they think I'm wasting my time sitting in front of a crap box called the computer...they expect the best and nothing else and I know I am far from being even remotely good at what ever I do...I'll be back to being normal sooner or later, just need some time to rebuilt that passion in me for what I want...just wish someone would give me a chance, just to prove myself. I'm even ready to work for free...

    @ d...yeah yeah.. :P

    @ zanzibar...tomorrow might be a better day but unfortunately I've got to survive the cold night...but I'll be fine...been here before, just this time it hurts more cause I didn't do anything wrong....
    I felt like giving the man all the money I had, but it's not my money to give...not yet!!!

    Thanks everyone... :)

  1. Abid says:

    When I started reading this post, I thought it was a suicide note.

    But the I got to the songs and realized that it was lyrics.

    Then I got to the last paragraph - and it really was "depressing".

    Hang in there big can do it!

  1. Stained, so what if everyone says you are wasting time. You know that you aren't. Over time I have learnt to ignore such comments even when they came from my parents- YES. You read that right. I'm assuming your parents are on your case. It's not easy getting a job (I'm sure you are trying on your own searching for one) and I'm sure they understand that jobs don't come easily? You have to go through the rejection phase one too many times when you finally land up with that first job. If you were useless, then you'd be sitting at home not focusing on attaining your goals. People can say whatever they want to. Just remember, it's easier said than done. And parents NEVER understand. If they did, we would all be one big happy family. The last three words are non-existent now!

  1. Stained says:

    The question ringing in my head is "how far do I pursue my dream". How long is too long....I'm sooner or late going to have visa issues so obviously I need a fixed job. Photography seems to be great if you're female cause the number of opportunities up for only females is huge. I think its something to do with the culture here that makes a male photography less desirable.
    And it's not just my's the thought ringing in my head that I'm not earning already while others around me have been over a year...No income also dents my potential to grow as photography is one hell of a costly investment and I've already blown 8K on the basic set up I have....all of this is just adding up...
    I don't want to end up with a desk job with a boss removing his frustration on me for no reason. I have friends in very such situations but they can take it. I won't cause I have a huge ego when it comes to taking shit when it's not my fault...argh...right now I just wish I had a temporary job just to settle my head and keep me busy....

  1. Stained says:

    checked it....thanks.... :D

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