I strike again

Posted: Saturday, January 13, 2007 by Stained in
8

As usual, I screwed up yesterday. Why do I do this I'll never understand. First I don't do anything to make the situation any better for anyone & here I am making it worse for the people who matter. Just brilliant, a complete genius of a person.

I wish I could just stop screwing up. But noooo...Its destiny. I'm meant to screw up again & again in life till I'm dead. Why don't I just read between the lines & learn that maybe nothing is meant for me & I'm meant for no one. I was happy living my life alone with that enormous amount of hate boiling inside of me making the focus of my life as just taking revenge. Nothing more, Nothing less. But here I was trying to understand the world by socializing. Bad idea, forget understand the world, I can't understand myself anymore.

No more...Enough of this lie I'm living. I need to create my own destiny, my future, i.e. I will go down one day but I'll take with me all those people who made the life of my family difficult. 'Revenge is sweet' I seem to have forgotten it lately but now I remember & I do hope I will never forget it again.

8 comments:

  1. D says:

    You didn't do anything intentionally with the aim of screwing anything up, so stop blaming yourself so much. You aren't some disaster zone so quit thinking along the lines that you are.

    Why don't I just read between the lines & learn that maybe nothing is meant for me & I'm meant for no one
    This is bullshit and you know it...and I can't wait for the day to literally kick you for saying this.

    Take care.

  1. fud says:

    hmmm...

  1. Stained says:

    d...you won't understand...simple..
    & fud...well we've discussed this tpic before...I seem to have gone back to where I was before & I like it here...so please don't try to change my mind again...

  1. D says:

    Thanks a lot for saying that... makes me feel great.

  1. fud says:

    k i wont...jus sumtimes its hard not 2 say nythng whn u so starkly c its wrong...uv got the right 2 make ur own mistakes... dedicate ur life n life purpose 2 ppl who dont even matter whn u cudv done so much more...but remmbr tht all ud b doing is paying thm a massive tribute...need a purpose...let it b urself n ur own progress...n not ny othr person on earth... its very easy to b destructive...ny idiot could do tht...but its takes sum1 special 2 b constructive...

  1. Stained says:

    see...d & fud..
    I'm a mess right now....I complete disaster zone....
    I've never been so vulnerable in life...never...
    People can run over me & I would not make a noise
    I just cant take this...I need to re-built myself & for that I need to believe in myself...& the only thing that kept me going for a long 6 years was the revenge factor...
    It made me the person I was once...& I need to be there again even if it means believing in something stupid...
    its might seem weird but it seems to be the right way for me right now...so that

  1. Anonymous says:

    You might not know me.. and I have to admit this is the first time I read your blog and the first thing i read were those lines..
    That overwhelmed me...

    I have been there sometime in my life.. and I find myself in and out that phase of mind..

    that massdistraction.. that big black cloud...

    But there are sun behind that u need to know for sure..

    Please try to think of how strong u can be from inside.. and you will see how life can be different.. I am here if you need to talk.. and if u accept me as a friend..

    Life

  1. Stained says:

    I don't know what to say life...
    I'm a confused soul...you dont want to get tangled in my life...its too much of a strain for anyone to comprehend...but i shall keep your offer in my mind if I do need somebody...

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