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So mom and sister are mad at me...again!!! Basically yesterday, I managed to somehow not notice mom leave for the doctor as I was engrossed into editing the Type-R video so that made my sister angry and upset mom. And then I somehow forgot to call my sister in the evening informing her that I will be late to pick her up from work due to the portrait shoot, that obviously annoyed her and mom got angry with me. So I got in trouble for that plus both of them are on a 'men are assholes' mood lately so me being a man puts me in the line of fire especially since I'm the useless child/sibling which means I obviously deserve it.
On a different note....people who know me well know that I can be very honest....as in very very honest. Something my parents have drilled into me from the beginning plus it's in my genes i.e. runs in the family. But on the other hand life keeps throwing my honesty back at me i.e. I end up in a lot of mess due to it. The problem is that I'm not very bright plus I tend to do things without thinking i.e. I don't bother thinking about the repercussion of my actions. Not the best combination. So I'd decided about 10 days back to stop being honest. But then yesterday I sent an sms to someone where I made a very honest comment. I don't know what that person thought about it and I don't know if it's going to come back to haunt me. All I know is that by being honest, it gives me this confidence to look into the persons eyes without looking away with uncertainty or fear cause in the end I know I have nothing to hide...and for that I can't stop being honest to family, friends or clients. That's how I live....
Anyway wrote this poem last night. Still struggling to express myself properly so this isn't a very good but I like it..
I tried...
00.45am
12th April 2010
Tears in my eyes
Blur my vision
Can't see where I'm going
When do I turn away...
Listening to the whispers
Holding on to every breath
Maybe I'm not feeling
Blur my vision
Can't see where I'm going
When do I turn away...
Listening to the whispers
Holding on to every breath
Maybe I'm not feeling
This moment I believe...
How can I go on like this?
Singing with the silence
Missing you is everything
Standing here alone...crumbling
Nothing lasts forever
Memories meant to fade away
In a concoction of fear
That fake smile again...
Musing my fate
If it even exists
Maybe I'm already dead
It does feel like it...
I tried to be different
But I've become one of them
And there is no where to hide
From myself...
-Stained
Oh btw, moms gone to the doctor again today and I was too slow i.e. till I got off the computer and did the work she had asked me to do, she had already left which means sisters going to have a go at me in the evening. Brilliant.... :|
One last thing.....I know very few people read what I write but I'd like some feedback on my writing skills. Trying to improve it as I've realized due to my photography, I've stopped expressing myself in words...Thanks
