Changing Lanes

Today was the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature "Thank you Lunch" for people who had volunteered at the festival this year. I was one of the photographers so got an invite a month back. Being socially tongue-tied most of the time, I had decided I didn’t want to go but a friend managed to persuade me at the last minute and I agreed to tag along with him. Bad decision!!!

Hadn’t slept well last night plus was kind of upset (again!!), so I should have known today would have been a bad day to get out. Anyway got picked up at 12pm and we got there by 12:45pm. As soon as I stepped into the room, I felt completely out of place. Everyone was dressed formally while I was in a T-shirt and track pants. Also everyone seemed to know each other while I didn’t really know anyone. Hung around for 5minutes, said hi to three people, then stepped out of the room and lingered there for about 15minutes after which I left, walked to the mall next door and sat there for another 15 minutes writing a poem. Once done with that, I caught the bus back home.

I suppose it was rude of me to leave like that but I’m in a state of mind where I’m not really sure what I’m doing and don’t really care what people think about me. I just follow my impulsive decisions, right or wrong; it doesn’t matter anymore because in the end life can’t get any worse.

My confidence is in a ditch right now and nothing I do makes a difference. I haven’t picked up my camera for the past 5 days. Once my escape, photography has just become a burden now...need to maybe let go of that as well...

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all and then some you don't want