Changing Lanes

I am a very insecure person. Every new event raises a storm in my mind that revs my insecurity about my position in the everyday lives of the people I mingle with. Its unnecessary I know, but whatever I say to myself, these weird insecurities seem to have a ever increasing strong hold on me. They are in my every thought. Any action that I take are hampered by them. I have made several mistakes, lost friends & even made enemise due to them. I don't know what I'm playing at but I just can't let them go.

Just today, I was informed about something. A event that is of no importance to any normal human being, but here I am screwing up my day thinking about what will happen to this so called perfect world of mine. I know I'm important, but I just cannot get over the fear of being ignored. I know everyone suffers from this fear but mine is just much larger than anyone can imagine. I have almost ruined my college life due to this fear.

''It's all a mind game'', that is what I always say. ''Everything can be overcome if you are mentally strong'', this is the advice I give others when they seem to give up at the sight of small obstacles . But being the most pessimistic person when it comes to my own well-being, this advice seems to be of no use. How do I fight this I donot know. The only way I see is to run away from everything in the hope that these fears will go away....